one week

I can't believe it's been a week since I've had Madison, time is going so quickly. I want her to stay small forever but at the same time I want to see her grow up and see what she becomes. I try to memorize her every feature, and I really don't want to put her down.

Some things about her:

I try to put mittens on her but she has the ability to get one mitten off ever time, same hand even if you put different mittens on her

She loves her daddy. They hang out a lot whenever he gets home from work.

She reeeeaaalllllly hates being cold, she cried until you make her warm again... thats why she didn't like her bath so much.

She hates getting her diaper changed because of the cold wipes. I think she has flash backs of the hospital when the lactation specialist would wipe her down to wake her up because she kept trying to sleep the entire time and wouldn't eat unless you put forth a lot of effort to wake her up then she would fall right back asleep.

I love burping her! Thats when she is extremely alert... she opens her eyes looks all around and makes the cutest noises.

She gets the hiccups every day some times a few times a day, yep she's definitely my daughter

she loves eating. she has a tendency to eat for hours straight

my sister moved to Louisiana on Saturday. I've never had to be in a different city than her before. its bizzare... I cried so hard when she left my apartment that morning it took Ryan a while to calm me down. Everything happens for a reason tho so I know shes there for something important

Birth...

Well the the moment I have Madison asleep. She's been screaming all day I think from gas because she wont burp, roots but wont latch 9 out of 10 times, and just the way she's acting. Its kind of freaky because this isn't how my baby acts. She normally never crys and when she does it isn't very loud... these are like death crys. My milk came in last night so hint the thought of gas.

well Monday at 2:30 am after about an hour of sleep due to nerves Ryan and I woke up and got ready for the hospital. We got there at 3:20 and the nurses gave us a weird look and asked us why we were so early (they evidently had it down that I was supposed to be there at 4) we joked and said we didn't want to hit traffic. once in our room I gowned up and started to fill out the paper work. My mom got there at 4am because she wanted to be there for the whole thing. I got my blood drawn, iv put in and they started pitioian by 4:30am. I was hooked up to a heart monitor and a contraction monitor so if I ever had to go pee it was quite the ordeal, I would have to unplug all the cords and take my iv stand with me then rehook everything, it took me five minutes to do everything so I only did it once around 6:30. My pitioian was raised every half hour, it took me about an hour and a half before I noticed I was having contractions. They didn't hurt in the beginning.

They came in and tried to put a internal heart monitor in around 7:30 am with the prospect of also breaking my water. They couldn't get the clip in but they nicked my water bag and warned me that I might start randomly start leaking fluid if I talked, laughed, sneezed (get the picture?) it took me about twenty minutes before I felt anything then GUSH! right when I was either laughing or talking to the nurse... weird weird feeling. They had put one of those huge diaper pads under me by that point so I wasn't sitting in a puddle in my bed thankfully, and the fluid was clear so I was happy.

They checked me and I was four and with all my knowledge of birth I knew that my water being broken would cause my contractions to not just be the light cramps on the screen but they would hurt so I asked for my epidural right then and there. Also those doctors are notorious for taking an hour to get there once asked for. Then my contractions started to hurt... bad. my family would come over and watch them on the screen every once and a while (I had the today show on the tv in case you wanted to know) my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart then went to continuous not letting up. The only let up was the contraction line would go down to four "in between contractions" then go back up to six or higher. I was praying for the doctor to get there but as I thought it took about an hour for him to get there after I asked for him.

Everyone but Ryan left the room and he started to prep me. My legs were shaking and I was starting to feel sick by that point from the pain by then. My legs hanging over the side of the bed, leaning into the nurse they started to do my epi. Poke one, I could feel him trying to get the needle into the spinal cord, didn't work. Oh it hurt so bad. Take two in a different area, poke in... didn't work. I was sobbing by this point. He went higher than most and finally got the epidural into place. He told me I had a tight spine then referred to me as an armadillo...

Shortly there after I got sick for the first time in my pregnancy. I lost my fruit loops in a little bag. They gave me a shot to make it stop which worked thank goodness!

By this point they let the other people back into the room. I wasn't opening my eyes because U could still feel my contractions and my back huurt. The nurse started to talk to me but the first thing I commented on was an ad about female smell products. I responded to the ad "Well if you would shower every day then you wouldn't smell" They stuck a catheter in me once I was completely numb which was uncomfy at first but eventually you get used to it.

through out the day every one in the room would fall asleep (my mom, dad, jenni and ryan)

I was progressing normally til I got to six then I kind of stopped. After a few hours she decided to switch up my positions so my knees were up and I was curling around the baby. Once she got me like that it did the trick, I went from 6 to 10 in two hours.

once I was nine I started to feel the pressure every one tells you about. (ready for tmi?) it felt like my vagina had this big weight put on it. I still didn't feel my contractions but I felt the pressure. the nurse came in and checked me and I asked if it was ok that I was doing counter pressure to help relieve the pain, she then asked me to demonstrate what I was talking about and I pushed for her with her hand in me... and while doing that I farted... it made Ryan, I and the nurse laugh hysterically with me saying "well I didn't mean to do that too but oh well!" (now keep in mind my biggest fear was pooping on the delivery table) she told me she could see when I was pushing on the monitor and showed me how. She then told me not to push... so even though it helped my pressure I stopped pushing.

She came in about ten minutes later to check me because she had a feeling and I was a ten! she said she was going to go tell my doctor then she'd be back so we could practise push. Well my doctor was there in literally five minutes and beat the nurse back! (my doctor was keeping tabs on me all day via her phone an was very up to date and on my case all day even if I had only seen her in the morning... theres reasons why I love her!)

They set up the room (and kha quickly left the room) and she put her fingers inside me

"Do you feel my fingers?"

"well yes" (my epidural was slowly wearing off because I could feel my feet)

"ok I want you to push my fingers out"

once I knew this I pushed for her... every medical person in the room was surprised. "it looks like she's going to push the baby out of this room"

They waited for another contraction and they had me start pushing (its about 5:20 pm at this point)

one of the nurses jokingly asked when I was going to have my next one

my nurses and doctor were joking around with people in the room

*push*

*push*

"wow thats a lot of hair"

one nurse gets out a small bottle of baby shampoo and hands it to my doctor which she uses to start doing "massage" to stretch me out which she does with vigger

*push*

*push*

heads out then shoulder, cord around her neck

one more push and then Madison was here! Pushing time??? Just under 20 minutes 5:36 pm

then here comes the complication...

every person looses blood after birth, that is a fact of life but I lost more than most. Every time they would push on my stomach to check I would gush more and more blood. They gave me a shot to see if it would stop, and it didn't work. They gave me another shot and that finally slowed it down. All in all I lost a little bit less than you do getting a c-section. I also did tear a little bit, not very much though, she said she just did one continuous stitch and I was fine.

AND I DID NOT POOP ON THE TABLE!!!!

I've been trying to let Ryan get as much sleep as possible since he has school and work to do so Madison and I have been camping out in the living room at night to just let him sleep. She just sleeps in my arm on the boppy, it makes breast feeding extremely easy at night. She wakes up I pop a boob in her mouth she goes back to sleep and repeat. I'm actually handling the whole no sleep thing pretty good I believe.

I got my milk in last night/today... holy cow! Literally! I think my size tripled if not more in 12 hours flat and they are like granite implants

Ryans family came by today to visit today (after she was able to fall asleep from her gas issues earlier) they were so crazy about her! It was adorable!

the night before hand

*It really is the oddest thing sitting at home the night before we go to the hospital. Its also odd knowing the exact day that you will go into labor and have her.

*My last doctors appointment i was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced so my doctor said it was fine that she induced me a week early.

*even if she didn't induce me there would be no way I would last the week til my due date, yesterday I was contracting about once an hour and the fact that i didn't feel anything that caused me to be 3cm seems pretty impressive to me

*I really wanted to be able to have my sister there because she moves on my due date. I love my sister i cant imagine having something so huge happen and not have her here.

*I'm getting antsy beyond belief and anxious because its so daunting to think about.

*tomorrow i'll have my daughter in my arms.

*this has been so unreal for me because i never thought that it would happen.

*it took three years and a lot of blood sweat and tears for it to happen.

*i'm as prepared as i can be at this point theres nothing more that can happen.

*3:30 am is verrry early to be awake which has caused me to realize i'm not going to be sleeping tonight and if i do somehow fall asleep it really isn't going to be very long.

*Ryans trying to help me not loose my mind right now but he's just as excited as I am

*I put in the extended edition of Lord of the Rings to help pass the hours but it seems like time is crawling by....

*when I get bored and dont know what to watch I put in Lord of the Rings

*I've watched the special features of them at least three times each

*I'm sure they are easily longer than the movies themselves

*I've been watching Big bang theory lately... I love that show

*soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of furr! Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur pur pur!

*I'm slightly random at the moment if you cant tell

*I know the last thing I'm going to eat before I go into the hospital is a bowl of fruit loops

*my doctor told me I should eat before I go in because they aren't going to let me eat hint the fruit loops

* I still haven't done my thank yous from my shower...

*I think I'm the worst person at writing thank yous ever

*I'm going to have Madison blessed the first Sunday of march if you want to come

*I just got the dress dry cleaned

*I wonder if I'll be able to get a nap in the hospital tomorrow morning before the contractions get too bad

34 week

Well I had a blast of a baby shower! A whole lot of people showed up and showed us a lot of love. While there my cousin Alicia told me to come over and look at some of her baby stuff to start a baby stuff swapping club between us since we live in the same city and live fairly close in the same city. Between her and my shower we are set. There are still a few odds and ends we would like to get like a rocking chair and a swing... I still need to wash all of the clothes and write the thank yous and find a place for everything, which is a lot harder than it sounds.
My old man kitty was limping around for a few weeks, my mom thought that he landed wrong when he was jumping off the fence in the back yard. Well he started not limping so bad and we all thought that he was getting better. Well then last week my mom found him licking his chest raw... well no one was taking him to the vet so I kidnapped him and took him to the vet, my mom met me there. It turned out that the vet thought he had gotten into a cat fight and he got an abscess on his chest that opened up. She thought he was calm and that they would have no problem with him... hahahahahaha... people never believe us when we say he doesn't like the vet and he doesn't like people messing with him when he doesn't know them that well. Well the vet tec came back into the room with him with the leather gloves that go up past the elbow and they hadn't been able to do anything with him other than give him the shots he needed. So I got to cone him and he was growling the whole time. He's doing a lot better now, I'm glad I vetted him.

Ryan and I are in Ely this week... Not working is fantastic! There is a huge storm that stretches down below Hawaii and is called the pineapple express. Well it was raining in Vegas when we left and it was raining in Ely when we got here. That night the rain turned to snow and it snowed all night long. It then snowed Monday and its currently snowing right now. I don't think I've even had to deal with snow like this before... Its very pretty but it isn't fun to drive in.

Yesterday when it had stopped snowing for a little while the kids, Ryan and i went sledding at the park right next to their house. Well I didn't sled because hello that would be stupid, but it was funny to watch. This was when Ryan went down with Emily. They were trying to forge a good path down the hillside and it would always work better when there were two or more people on it. It was funny when all four of them went down on the same sled...

I am currently 34 weeks pregnant. I swear after my shower I blew up I think I grow an inch a day now, it was an over night thing. I guess that being freakishly small for so long had to catch up with my eventually. Its getting harder and harder for me to move around and her head likes to go in and out of my pelvis. I showed Ryan her head when she was trying to escape through my stomach while we were out and about. He though I was just being crazy but then he felt one side and it wasn't anything then he felt where I told him to and he felt her big head. I haven't gotten to the point of where I want her out already I'm still content with being pregnant. I still haven't felt a braxton hicks or any contraction yet. I'm starting to wonder where the heck she's going to go because she's already in my ribs I dont know how much higher she can go! She should be weighing close to 5.5 pounds by now if she is gaining the half a pound a week.

32 weeks

I went in to get my last ultrasound. Madison is so cute I do love to see her whenever I can. Jenni was able to go with me. She is head down and she seems perfect. She has a FULL head of hair right now. The doctor actually measured it and its a half inch long so far. He was surprised that she had so much hair so early in the pregnancy. He tried to get a good 3d picture of her but she kept her head against the placenta so it was only a smushed picture of her. Its getting so close, I can count the weeks left on my fingers... I can actually see the end in sight. I like having her in me it feels so safe, I dont have to worry if shes cold or lonely I know that shes there and mine.

The baby shower is on Saturday and I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm excited to see everyone. It took so long to make all of this happen and now it finally happening.

Ryans grandma is in the hospital. She has a blood clot in each lung and is in the icu at Salt Lake. They are going to try to break it up with medication. Its kind of a wait and see kind of thing.

Thanksgiving

Well Thanksgiving week was a world full of fun at work. It was crazy busy and we got a lot more work. I was very happy to be off by ten on thanksgiving day. It was great to have John home for the little time that he was here for. He still has a bigger belly than me... he was pushing, me not so much.

This was the first black Friday in the history of ever that I didn't work it. I didn't really care one way or the other but Ryan thought it was be fun to do "mild" black Friday shopping. So we left the house at 8:30 (I told you it was mild) to go check it out. We went to a few different stores and I discovered that babies-r-us half off is wal-marts normal price... We got ourselves our first Christmas tree... It was fun to set it up, even though we wont be in Vegas for Christmas this year...

30 weeks

30 weeks so far I have been perfect. My feet hurt when I'm done with work but thats normal with everyone... I dont have heartburn, or leg cramps and I also have had zero braxton hicks contractions. I have had some rather vivid dreams lately... the other night I dreamed that my mom got another pet turkey and some more chickens and the chickens were sleeping on a box with kittens and one of them was pink... yeah that a quite a lot of zombie dreams... work has been interesting I just did an overnight this week. It was the easy, I actually finished two hours early working painfully slow then after trying to find stuff to do we left an hour early...

Ryan and I had a family function at his aunts house... I do try to be social when I am there. Its actually a lot of fun talking to them.

I am on season three and a half of gilmore girls... I am so happy to know someone who owns the show!!!