judgment

I was just cooking dinner and I was thinking about my family. The thought ran into my head

"what if people judge my family?" Then it very quickly turned into

"People really can't judge my family"

My sister Jenni

She seriously is one of the only people I sat there and thought and thought about for judgments they might say. I was able to come up with some for John and I but I can't come up with any for her. She has been in retail management with two different major clothing brands that most people would die to wear! (And fork out $700 just to wear their jeans...) She has had a steady job since she was 16. She is one of the most dependable people I know. I can't think of a time she has ever lied to me. She will hide something from you but if you come right out and ask her she will tell you. She is starting a whole new adventure in Louisiana with the most polite great guy the world could ever ask for! They are perfect together!

My brother John

Now you might say "but he parties!" but I respond "BUT he's had straight A's since the second grade!" He's probably a heck of a lot smarter than you! He's 21 year old hot single college student, he is allowed to let off some steam! If he can work three jobs (yes he has had three jobs at once while in college, not just a class but a full load) and pull off straight A's he can do what ever the heck he wants! Plus when he graduates he's going to have duel majors! How many people can even pretend to say they have come anywhere close to that?

Ryan and I

"But you went back to work after having a baby!"

And? My husband is going to school full time, and is the main tec at the blind center full time! If there was any job openings in his field that offered insurance I wouldn't be working but there isn't unless we move to texas or something but his credits don't transfer! He graduated with freakin HONORS and is making a life for our family so much easier! I am good at my job even if I hate it. I have had a job continuously since I was 16 years old and have been in management for seven years! Ryan is a worthy priesthood holder who was able to bless our daughter!

My parents

So what they got divorced?

So?

Who doesn't? Who can say they made a marriage LAST for 26 years? They have been through such crap that most people have never seen in their lives! They have had hard lives! But they both would do anything in their power for their kids. Both of them are current on their mortgages and pay all of their bills. If you say anything bad about either of my parents I will hunt you down and make you eat your words...

Those thoughts were running through my head while I was cooking dinner... It left me with a smile on my face. I love my family and am so grateful that I am in the one I am!

5 months

(There are a lot of edits in here because I've been writing this for about a week now)

My little baby is five months old this week... it kinda makes me cry that its going to fast! I always feel like I'm not taking enough pictures of her but then again I think I have four gigs already. This girl with have whole hard drives devoted to her!

She isn't really rolling over but thats because she's constantly being held. I'm sure she would do it if I would put her down more but Ryan calls us a kangaroo shes constantly attached to me!

She really love being with me!

(Edit: She has turned into only wanting Mommy at times... She watches me constantly. She will watch me walk around the room when ever anyone else is holding her or she's sitting by herself)

She chooses to be with me more than others but she still gets a huge smile on her face when Daddy comes in! She knows who her Mommy and Daddy are!

She has earned the best baby award for sleeping though the night two times in a row! I'm hoping this is a new development from her! Waking up with a wet shirt is something I will take every day if it means she sleeps from 10 to 6 every day. (and wakes up giggling and talking every day!)

Some days she doesn't poo at all but then the next day when she does let it out you need a hasmat suit! (Edit: She currently didn't poop yesterday or today... tomorrows going to be a huge blow out!)But then again that would certainly make her a Lund! Every Lund is smelly! (If they say they aren't they just lied to you!)

She is so beautiful! I love looking into her beautiful brown eyes and try to see the person that she will become!

She has started to attack your face! What she will do is open her mouth up all the way and slobber kiss you! She licks all over then sucks! When she gets off of you you have this huge drool spot on you but you cant help but laugh! I think she thinks that what you do because she is ALWAYS being kissed on!

I haven't started her on baby food yet but thats because I think shes still a little bit too young for it. I'll probably start it on her six month birthday... I want to keep her "little" for as long as possible! (even if she is 20 pounds!) (Edit: I've fed her rice cereal twice now. I her for the first time on Wednesday the 22nd and she loved eating it! She had a blast... but according to my mom she had an upset tummy when she watched her and got extremely clingy. I fed her again today, less and with a a shot of mylocon before hand to try to help prevent gas that might happen from it. She did good and hasn't seemed too cranky from it. I will only feed her cereal on the days where I will be the one watching her at night. I think I just need to very very slowly ease her into it... She has a sensitive lil tummy)

Her hair is getting so long its getting in her eyes so I have to find ways to do it and keep it out! (Edit: I put it in piggy tails today! Super cute!)

She really is into sitting on our porch and looking at trees. Shes content out there with me sitting her on the wall and her just looking around... mostly up! She really likes the tree thats right outside the window!

People have been annoying the living tar out of me the last couple of weeks because they arent thinking before they talk. For instance theres a woman who i work with that said I looked pregnant... now mind you I weight exactly the same as I did before I got pregnant and I'm wearing my size 12 pants so I just turned to her and said "Wow! That was rude!" She tried to back track and said I was glowing which I quickly retorted "no I'm sunburnt" along with other people saying equally ignorant things. Its like "hello! Think before you talk!" It takes YEARS to get off my poopoo list! I mean seriously just think! I dont care about a lot of things but if you hit certain NERVES with me I lash back. For instance on facebook I don't really care if you tag me in things I normally just blow it off and leave it. But if you do something STUPID enough I will delete your crap and untag myself because it annoyed me that badly. Its like seriously reword your thoughts don't tag me in it and make it cute and I wont really care, but don't bring my daughter into things... EVER even if you think its cute. a joke is meant to be funny. When a joke isn't funny people just sit and stare at you like you've lost your mind... Don't make people look at you funny.

I've been on a cleaning streak lately... You can eat off my floor right now. It just freaks me out thinking about Madison being in a dirty house! I wouldn't think about putting Madison on the floor even on a blanket if it was dirty! Think of everything that she could touch or get a hold of... Heaven forbid she pulls something down on top of her! Plus when a house is dirty you get more bugs and it freaks me out even thinking about roaches being anywhere near her! They carry diseases and thats not something I want around my daughter! Ever since I watched hoarders on netflix one day my apartment has been pretty darn clean! You don't necessarily smell bleach because I dont want that to end up on my hands and then somehow Madison licks it off of me but its clean enough that I could eat off my counter. Roaches.... *cringes*

Our trip to Ely

We just got back from our in between doctors appointment to get her shots and she is currently 19 pounds 12 ounces and 26 3/4 long. She still is out of the percentiles for weight and is the 95 percentile for height. I think its weird that she only gained 12 ounces in three weeks but then again she pooped three times before we left the house and she didn't eat after her nap so she wasn't full and happy like she always is. She really didn't like the three shots she got today. she screamed and screamed and still wasn't happy after I fed her for a little bit. hopefully she will be happier after she sleeps for a while and actually eats a full meal.

we had a lot of fun this weekend! We took a long weekend and went up to Ely! Ryan's work told him he needed to use his vacation or else he would loose it. On the trip up we left decently early in the morning and Maddie only demanded to stop once to eat and play for a little bit so it took us the normal amount of time. When we got to Ely we were surrounded by his family and they loved all over Maddie! But then again who wouldn't love all over Maddie? Every single person

who has ever seen her has loved her! She got to play on her uncle Tommy's shoulders and be kissed all over by her aunts and grandma!

I decided that she would feel so much better from being in the car for four hours so we jumped in

the shower to get the ick of driving off of us. We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and

Maddie was an angle. No crying! She just sat on peoples laps and giggled like there was no

tomorrow! When we got back to their house Ryan went about building Mathews new

computer... he loves building people computers! I don't blame him he's darn good at it and its a good skill to have! We watched some Mr. Bean and I realized that I wouldn't be holding Madison very often while I'd be there and it turned into a game of musical baby! She loved all of the attention! Sleeping was interesting... I didn't sleep much because Madison could smell me and she decided to snack every hour on the hour. I soon realized I had to sleep at the foot of the bed and her at the top so she wouldn't eat as much. She still would wake up a heck of a lot more often then her normal two times a night self but five compared to 8 is a lot better prospect!

Saturday we went down to Cave lake to fish for a ward activity! It was the first time that I went fishing that someone actually caught a fish... this was only my second time fishing in the whole life... can't say I'm missing much. I dressed Madison up super cute and slathered her with sunblock. After a short photo shoot we went down to the lake.

All in all they caught nine fish but put them all back into the lake. Maddie took a little cat nap while Ryan had a lot of fun and tried to gross us girls out with the fish he caught... he got one a little bit to close for my comfort so I slapped his fish. Yes, I have slapped a fish!

Ryan and I got pretty sunburnt but we will live! Ryans dad and brother came home from camp helaman (a camp that's meant to prepare young men to go on their mission. Its like girls camp with out the drama) http://camphelaman.com/North/ They told us it was an amazing

experience. Its going to be fun when we will have family home evening to write his brothers

letters when they are on their mission. Maddie will draw them pictures it will be so much fun! His dad has some magic powers with Maddie. He can just look at her and send her into a giggle fit! He can get her laughing better than I can which is impressive. We were in their room when we decided to record a video of it! She must really love her grandpa!

Sunday we went and got ready to go to his old ward. Madison was pretty good. She was quiet until it was the sacrament then she decided it would be fun to talk! But shes cute she can get away with it! His brother Micheal gave a great talk about his time at camp. He had the entire congregation laughing with some of his storys! I didn't really get to go to Sunday school because it was snack time but I was able to go to relief society for the whole time. She was awake just enough to talk through the opening prayer and the closing prayer. She slept the whole other time through. We went over to his grandparents house after the entire house got their Sunday nap which is so nice to have! It was kind of crazy I woke up from mine a little bit before everyone else did and the entire house was quiet... We drove down to lund to go see his grandparents and Madison LOVED to hang out with her Great Grandma Bischoff. It was like she was amazed by her. I made sure that I got a lot of pictures of them together because its nice to have sweet memories like that. I also got the opportunity to get a four generation picture!

How many people can say they have that? We got home and it was a nice night playing dominoes

and games until my monkey passed out on her daddy's lap. She tried to fight it for so long and so hard she finally gave in!

Monday we had a spontaneous family picture outing at the train station. The photographer was a blast and we should have some super cute pictures of Maddie! We also have our first real family pictures taken! I can't wait to see them! We also went down to the copper mines to look at the pits. Its hard to wrap your mind around how big they really are! They are pretty to look at I have to give them that much! You don't really see colors like that anywhere else.

Our drive home was much different from our drive to. I think we left way too late (around 2 or 3) because she just wasn't happy being in the car. I think we stopped four different times... The last time we stopped she cried for almost a half hour because there was no where for us to stop. So I cried with her at the truck stop trying to calm her down. Her little sniffs from being hysterical break my heart! I have such a soft heart for her. I hate to see her sad! But we made it home and she can now sleep in her own bed!

I'm so grateful for my family! I'm so glad that I'm sealed to my husband for time and all eternity! I'm so glad that Madison is going to grow up with her father in her life! That she is never going to question his love for her! I', so grateful that we have her in our lives! She is so beautiful and perfect in every way that everyone stops us to see her and love her. I'm so grateful that she is such a daddys girl that she gets this huge grin on her face when ever she sees him and starts to giggle! I look forward to seeing them together as time goes along. He tells me that he pictures her a little bit older with pigtails of long brown hair and it makes him tear up! I'm so grateful that he is such a wonderful father and husband to us!

I'm starting to get really freaked out by dirtiness around a baby. Now I'm not talking about clutter here and there I'm talking about to walk in and it looks like a bomb went off, so dirty you cant see the floor. When there are children around especially babys that makes me mad. Do you not care about your children? Do you sit there and wonder about the bug bites they have on them because of the filth they live in? I mean how do you baby proof that? With boxes and papers and binders piled up all over the floor aren't you asking for an accident? That when they go to pull themselves up on something aren't you worried that they will pull down the entire pile on top of them? I'm not going to say that my place doesn't get cluttered because there are some days where I get nothing done but nothing THAT bad...

my baby

I never realized how much you can truely love a person until I had my daughter. Its just this overwhelming joy I get when I even look at her. Shes so happy and giggly and such a wonderful baby! I'm glad she's my first. I find her so funny when she grabs her dish towels and just giggles like she stole it and its her treasure. She licks me and licks me then giggles! How could you not love her?